Mx.D.P

I thought I’d reflect on the Miro feedback, I will listen to the what worked for me later… (with a box of tissues)

Reading the Miro comments was fascinating because some of you understood my practice, and some didn’t! This means that, in real terms, I haven’t fully explained it. That’s pretty important for me!

I am going address each one, with a spot of editing as a form of self-reflection for me.

But First, I am going to say this…

I came to CSM to Save the Earth

While undertaking my MA, I realised I couldn’t Save the Earth alone. I began to think that the best way to save the earth was to weaponise art by forming a NETWORK

My Art Practice is THE NETWORK

I don’t want to make physical art as it consumes resources, but I do it to strengthen the network and build engagement, using it as a language to communicate.

I’ve also found out it can control the immense stress that comes from the overwhelming fact the Earth is F*cked

So here is my self-reflection on the Miro feedback. Thank you to everyone; it means a lot, and I hope that showed.

I feel like I was being presented to by Dee

– that’s good because the work is truly autoethnographic research!

I also felt your overwhelmed-ness at how big Borthfest got

– Yes, overwhelmed is a good word for me. Borthfest made me realise that we all need help in one way or another and how great community is!

…your brain flashing through a never ending to do list…

– I use notes for that as a checklist; I tick off as I do stuff, and the checklist never seems to get shorter, but I don’t worry about it; it’s a checklist!

I wonder how this new festival will feel by comparison with the load being shared a bit more, what changes overall you might implement based on the last festival

– yes, before I would do another festival, I knew it needed a lot of folks to do it. Gwyl Cariad is huge, and from three people setting up Big Wave, we now have developed a considerable network, complete with steering groups, google Docs, files, business meetings, and funding strategies… it’s on a scale difficult to imagine here. I keep telling myself and others it’s a pilot; no stress whatsoever, then!!! ya right…

I think you’re achieving your goal of binary breaking

– (you understood how I was doing that, thank you) I began to realise that it was as simple as representing my Non-binary identity, which is sometimes as simple as correcting people about their use of my pronouns or using Mx on my work and emails, to having full blow ‘Gender Traitor’ discussions with Terfs (I love a good argument)

I feel a sense of fun and playfulness with your work, drawing me in to discover more!

– I am using humour as a weapon against climate anxiety and negative panic of inaction.

I wonder how your art practice will help to make positive future change for the issues you raise –

God knows. I genuinely think the Earth is f8cked, but someone has got to try, and this is the best way I have come up with. I believe if we are to save the earth, it will be by building strong communities, and I think I can do that by using art. It’s a theory I am putting into practice.

I feel your energy, drive and passion

– I am in the Earth Saving business, thats a lot of motivation for me.

I wonder if you are still making animation. 

– I am! However, I have to point out that if I am animating, it probably means I am on death’s door and can’t do much else, so it’s not always happy for me! Though they often make me laugh, my next one will probably be the Neville and Alfie love story (watch this space)

I think the people of Borth must be excited by all the happenings and energy which you’re creating. 

– It’s not that simple, and Borthfest is about a paraplegic gallery owner finding her agency. It now has others onboard and its own CIC. I think it will run again, but I don’t know how that will look. I will be on hand to do social media training if required.

You’re definitely putting Borth on the map.  

-That is not my aim; it is my home, but not my focus [though I will stage the work in progress of Identity Flags (2024 -) on the beach in Borth]. The next festival, Gwyl Cariad is in the university town of Aberystwyth

I feel impressed by how your work and identity are so deeply connected

– I realised my art practice, including saving the Earth, is fed by my autoethnographic research into my gender identity and my sexuality

I wonder what comes next for you. I am always grateful and surprised to wake up every morning, so if I do live, it will be to expand the network worldwide, do a PhD, and put on an Immersive art installation that will digitally connect the world.

I think it is great to see your practice connected with your community

– I believe that my community needs to be worldwide

I feel amazed by your bursting energy!

– I and the Earth are on a time-limited opportunity, so I feel I have to crack on…

Impressed by the amount and quality of the work

– thank you. I try hard.

I wonder what will come up next from all your brain scrubbing (haha loved it!)

At the moment, it’s a giant collaboration collage with an accompanying animation that I want to exhibit at Gwyl Cariad in the Arts Center. That’s a lot of work, especially with everything else I have to do. If it’s good, I will try to get it exhibited at the National Assembly. We will see!

I think the way your work connects with the community is incredibly beautiful. A strong core in Borth that propagates all over the world

– that’s the plan!

I feel overwhelmed by the idea of trying to address the “bigness” of the problems you’re wanting to address in your work

– Me Too!

Impressed by the way you approach this on a kind of “micro” level, i.e. literally in your own backyard/neighbourhood 

– I realised you have got to start somewhere, and I am limited by my own rapidly diminishing physicality, so I know it will have to be digital soon

I wonder how binary thinking can/will be challenged via the festival of love, I’m sure there are many possibilities 

– interestingly, I am looking at how non-binary thinking, particularly the idea of Crip/Queering a problem through a temporal lens, can find solutions to climate chaos; that’s my PhD idea… so…

I think your work is both very imaginative and there’s a wildness to it but it’s also very down to earth especially in the sense that your practice tends to manifest in real-world community building.

– yes, it has to be IRL because thats where my problem of climate chaos lives.

I like the way you try to “use the resources you have”

– I wish it did that more; I loved Bethany’s work, but I also see the benefit of using controversial mediums to say THIS IS NOT SUSTAINABLE

I feel you are embracing your cultures and identity.

– This is interesting because I am who I am, and the language of identity is new to me, but it’s a comfort that I can now put a name to what I am. As for my culture, no, my culture tries to erase trans people; it is bigoted, and it wants me dead!

I wonder how you balance your energy and projects.

– arr this is easy, I could die at any moment, we all could, of course, but I am reminded of it on a too regular basis, the balance is not from me at all! I am a total c*nt; it comes from my husband, Dwain, who follows me around, trying to stop me from killing myself. Everything from, you have done enough now, I’m taking that iPad off you, to drink more water, eat this, to wiping my bum and holding me up in the shower and dressing me!

I think the book work is an interesting development from your moving image

– it developed into a giant collage installation from the workshop on Monday

I feel so much energy, an overwhelming abundance of it. Art is like a hurricane, powerful and untamed, yet also like ocean waves—rhythmic, deep, and ever-moving.

-You are so beautiful; I am not; I am untamed, though!

I wonder about the immense energy that art holds—like a hurricane, wild and untamed, yet at the same time like ocean waves, endlessly flowing, powerful, and full of rhythm. What is it that stirs this energy, making it feel both overwhelming and mesmerizing?

– the death of a planet for me…

This energy is not just chaotic; it’s also deeply harmonious, much like the balance between the storm and the calm sea. It resonates with our emotions, connecting us to something greater, something universal. I think this is what makes art so powerful—it’s both untamed and deliberate, reflecting the complexity of life itself.

– the tattooing Gods look after me, so I hope they talk to the Art gods; otherwise, I am F*cked!

I feel energised, entertained and inspired by the energy.

Oh, that’s good. Something works. Phew! I am genuinely relieved.

I wonder how art making has helped in keeping sane.

– it is science and my autistic brain. When I make art, the right side of the brain is in control, so it quietens the left thinking side, which is constantly reading the latest climate science research as well as talking to my crip and queer family around the world. The world is on the brink of anarchy, so a nice bit of sticking and glueing is very welcome.

I think the delivery is very confident, combined with the cleverness of the ideas and excellent editing – the outcome is full of energy and very inspiring. The message is loud and clear…and can’t wait to see more! 

All pilots, especially 747 pilots, are big-headed, overconfident folks who inhabit the mount of stupidity. They would never get airborne otherwise! I am very pleased you are enjoing the work, thats the important bit

I feel the sense of community and opportunities there to include a multitude of people and approaches 

– thank you. That’s my aim to connect the world

I wonder where the boundaries are, if any, in you and your art

There are no boundaries here, with the exception of my rapidly declining health, though I think digital is probably the way forward. As long as I am alive, I will keep fighting for the Earth. Other boundaries: I did think about funding my PhD through Only Fans. I was thinking of asking people to send me my money so I wouldn’t send them dirty pictures!

I think it’s a very loud delivery but there is a rather lovely vulnerability beneath, I think I would like to better understand your motivations and what specifically you really care about in these huge themes. 

– I wrote this blog post to address this question, so thank you for asking.

I feel your passion for every project and piece of work you make or are involved in.

I wonder how you could bring the fluidity of the paper works into the animations.

– this is an interesting point, I thing AR/VR and AI might eventually do that.

I think that the energy you bring to the work is inspirational, great for bringing people together and making things happen!

– Thank you thats my trans-mission

I feel lots of energy. I wonder could it be a little too shouty, there’s a lot of shouting. I think these are good aims.

I am very loud and brash. I am an acquired taste, but thankfully, that works as a small part within a network of thankfully gentler voices. I am surprisingly sensitive and compassionate too, that only comes to the fore in the most unexpected ways, normally in backroom deals and support aspects.

I feel passion, power, energy, abundence, intensity, care. protection

– Thank you, that sums me up perfectly

I wonder how do you keep momentum, how do you keep engaging

– with the love and support of my family and friends, somedays are f8cking awful, and I hate if I don’t do something; I feel like I have wasted a precious moment of life.

Where do you fly the indentity flags?

At the moment, they are in the studio. Once they are all joined up, they go to the tide markers strapped to my back as the sea roars. It will be a film with a violin accompaniment, with my friend Pat. That’s the plan for the grad show. How that will work, I am not sure; at the moment, I am finding it hard to get out of my chair, so walking down onto the beach seems as likely as walking on the moon! It’s a durational artwork, and it will take me years to finish all the flags, so will it ever be finished?

I think where Dee said “You have to go away from home, to realise what you got” or around those lines, gives an insight to how much you care and want to protect

I want to care for and protect the entire planet. My understanding of home came about because of my physical limitations. To find ways to engage with the world, I constantly test my flight envelope!

I feel increasing generosity, growing warmth and inclusion. Dynamism and focus. The power of you working to empower others 

– that’s hard for me because I can be extremely obnoxious, but I do love folks!

I wonder where you find the energy

– I am very bouncy and hate being constrained, so this is a safety feature. In the past, I would have been dangling from a rope up a very high mountain or seducing some poor, unfortunate young fellow… art is safer for everyone

I think that finding art everywhere, value everywhere and artists everywhere is a wonderful thing. That the redirection of your force into gentle activism feels more powerful. It is the immediate and very visual, spread from you to others that I find very moving. Go you!

– thank you, mate. It has been a hell of a journey

I feel fun to watch. I wonder like the welcome animation page. I think never get bored

– Thank you

I feel a lot of energy and love of life

I really love being alive. I love every day I get, and I have to remember the good bits when the bad bits happen. I try to change my mindset to think about how and where the positives live.

I wonder how Dee supports herself to be always in such warm energetic caring mood

– That’s my husband, Dwain. The Royal Marines have a credo of cheerfulness in the face of adversity, OMG I need that when it is really bad; he takes the piss and makes me laugh

I think its a great and bright medium to address tough topics

– yes, it’s about keeping a positive state of mind.

I feel mind blown and full of awe

I wonder where Dee gets her energy from! I think Dee’s practice both reflects on and embodies community action for social change

– I have good role models thank you mate you are an inspiration

I feel amused and slightly overwhelmed – Me too!

I wonder how Dee’s personal practice fits in

This is my personal art practice. This is me ‘doing’ art. Even me writing this is my art!

I think Dee is going to have a lot of fun

– this is an interesting one because it’s not always fun. It is often frustrating, stressful and a pain in the arse. I do like watching naughty cartoons, though; they make me laugh, but again, they are a pain to make. I am enjoying the sticking and glueing but sitting in a chair glues my insides, and then I can’t shit. I quite like the workshops, but again, they are physically very difficult for me; I am struggling to walk after the one on Monday. This is making me think about how I can grow my digital practice; I am effectively working the problem like it’s an aircraft emergency.

I feel overwhelmed with how much you do

– It is a distraction from the pain I am in; I would be doing this or drunk in a deckchair on the beach, and that is boring

And how out in the real world you are. It is making real human connections

– It’s got to be real world to save the Earth; nothing else will do

I wonder about the characters and personas

– I love that bit the best; how can I make characters tell the story? How can I engagingly do this with really horrible topics that will still make you laugh? They are often based on people I meet; you may become a character in an animation, changed, of course, but still an inspiration

I think I would love to see this traveling to other places too, opening some minds, or blowing some minds. Most places are stuck in the mud and not moving, or moving too slowly to make a difference. 

– thats my aim, I am working on it!

I feel inspired by your energy of using art as a tool for activism of few curent issues

– Yes, this!!! art is my tool!!!

I wonder if any colaborations that you can take forward emerged from your events

– Yes, absolutely, this is what I am doing.

I think you are having lots of fun using your art to engage with subjects that matter to you

It is not always fun; mainly, it involves hours and hours of hard graft. Sometimes I just want to pack it all in sell the house, my cats and my husband and go on a world cruise with an inappropriate young gigolo.

I feel curious about the themes involved in this work.

– thats good

Presented in a lively interesting format that totally suits your practice

– Thank you

I wonder what messages it would relate to someone outside of your sphere of influence.

This is an interesting one. If you were attending one of the art festivals, you might walk on by and think, who the hell is that strange creature with a stick-on moustache? And that would be fine because you are attending the festival and joining up with other artists on the network I have helped form, and totally unwittingly, you have become a fulfilment of my practice by your engagement.

I think I would be happy to watch more and understand better.

– That is amazing; thank you

Great way to interact using social media to promote messages.

– yes, it is; it replaces mainstream news and elects tyrants and overthrows them, too!

I feel intrigued and energised

I think great video making skills

– Thank you

I feel overwhelmed – me too

The energy and manicness is mesmerising 

– imagine living in my head! Or my poor husbands, I do feel for them…

I wonder what gives you the most energy

– arr interesting question

the network?

– no, that is exhausting, though sometimes a person says something nice, and I try to be supportive and empathic; not a natural state for me, but I’ve worked on it now for 60 years, so I have a bit of empathy for how bloody hard life can be

The connections?

– The neuro-divergent young people I met this week were amazing, and I realised how lucky I am to be on my side of the spectrum. I know climate chaos will be devastating to folks like this. I am starting to understand why I fight for the MAPA

The events?

– No, they are just chuffing exhausting. I like the workshops, but I have such a ridiculous physical price to pay. It needs a lot more thought from me

The planning ?

– No, that’s as boring as f*ck, but it has got to be done… pilots mantra piss-poor preparation leads to piss-poor performance

Personal production, the making the prints?

I see it now as a mind scrub because otherwise, I would go pop! Seriously, I would burn out! That’s why I like the workshops: I know I am passing on that gift of art-making mind-scrub!

The videos

Social media videos are a tool and a weapon for using the machine of late-stage capitalism against itself. My animation is when I am stuck in this bloody recliner and can’t move or get down the stairs—better than getting bed sores! Though they do make me laugh when they are done.

or maybe the combination?

No, the energy comes from knowing I might die! It’s only a might, as I may be immortal. If I am immortal, I hope I get a new body soon!

I think the more personal production is ‘dee.p’ and I want to see more of this, although the connections, the network is vital and you play a key role, I think I want to see more of you and your production 

This was the most difficult one to read because it meant I hadn’t communicated properly. You see, the network is my production. Just as a painter squeezes out paint from a tube to paint on to their canvas, I form a network to Save the Earth. What happens along the way of doing that is the Art. It is not controlled by me, and that is its power. I learnt that here on this MA journey from all of you.