Mx.D.P

What is self-reflection? Artistic realisation?

This week, I have cried with a fellow artist about the passions of art…

I went to a student print exhibition and saw my old university mates, got drunk with my fellow artists and talked about art life…

I listened to another disabled artist on my MA about their experiences; this reminded me of a chat with a Disabled Arts Cymru member about their experiences of exhibiting in a world-famous venue and experiencing those ableist spaces and being angry and frustrated…

It all gave me space to think, and I realised that as much as I rage against the machine of ableism…Force is not the road to success ….in anything;

Being reminded that kindest and creativity is …

We can all see that with the events in Gaza, the extent of emotions that reside within each and every one of us.

Art is the ability to think outside our physical limits. To provide the answer, not to force ourselves to act outside them in a brutal act of self-harm.

Instead, imagine new possibilities, and bring something unique into existence.

Where does any artist find creative energy?

Where do we find the inspiration and the motivation to tap into potential?

Artistic space is the key for me.

This can be physical, my beach studio or my recliner chair with it’s digital worktable.

More significantly, I need mental space. A state of mind free from constraints.

By clearing a space for creativity, I can provide a thoroughfare, a conduit to allow my imagination to flourish.

I have to learn to diffuse the problematic situations, the blocks, and the emotional violence we all perpetuate on ourselves to let go of preconceived notions and expectations. That’s a concept I struggle with; I have no difficulty with the push; it’s the pause that I find difficult.

This is where the concept of embedding my practice within a sturdy scaffold set in a fluid artistic environment comes into play.

By being honest and allowing myself to have the opportunity to fail while acknowledging what my artistic domain is and how I might be able to expand it. I allow new perspectives and become open to new influences.

I am positively shaping my artistic world and, in some butterfly effect, chaos theory way changing the world around me.

As a non-binary person and artist, I define and refine identity, transforming and understanding a deeper self. Becoming self-aware, tapping into unique perspectives.

This week, I found out I’ve got a fantastic opportunity to work with The Feminist Internet Studio and CCI: UAL on the online discussion groups for the Embodying Horizons Workshops.

I feel my best creativity happens when I am willing to invert my thinking; this is often a painful process of acknowledging reality without rejecting the new, embracing change and being open to the eruption of creativity by challenging myself.

I’ve realised that my creative practice is found in the unseen, unsung places and experiences.

Yes, I find it in the physicality of my beach studio, a space filled with paints, brushes and canvas, a space where I have extracted souls with a nine mag needle (tattooing, don’t panic) and now where I entertain and challenge my art friends with workshops and ideas.

I find it in the eclectic playlist played in my headphones as I sit in my furry deckchair looking out to sea.

But I create my space with the simplest moments, the love and support of my family, sharing a cup of tea or, more likely, a Butty Bach down the Railway pub with Chris and Sue, listening to Dawnie and Pat telling stories, laughing and putting the world to rights! Or sharing a Borth Sunset and a whiskey with the beach Vikings (we have beach Vikings in Borth)

These moments of connection and relaxation MAKE THE SPACE.

These experiences transport me to different worlds and inspire me to think outside the confines of my everyday life of disability.

This is a testament to the resilience and determination of all disabled individuals who refuse to let their limitations define them.

By challenging what can be done and transforming doubt into creative possibilities, we enable and reclaim our artistic identity and create the remarkable.